having a real bad day today... morning was a disaster..
evening was worse..
suppose to be out with family & auntie for dinner.. end up i reached there.. nvr eat.. walked around myself until they finished eating... missed a nice free meal...
havent been eating well these days... although the semester is ending.. bt it doesnt seem any better... have assignment due on mon.. have test on mon.. have 1 more assignment due soon... hw to do...
i m confused.. i dun knw what to do.. are we supposed to give in when we are being threatened with death? does being firm result in worst scenario? bt giving in does not seem any better too..
what is love? love = threatening to attempt to get what u wan? i dun tink love should b tat way.. i nvr realised that tis could happen to me.. i m really upset..
i did not do anything nt becoz i dun wan to.. bt becoz u had made the decision.. u shld have thought it thru b4 deriving to tat.. it shouldnt b used as a form of attempt to get what u wan...
i tink mixing with the wrg company will really cause adverse effects... have u ever realised that?
no one will ever knw what i had went thru.. no one will ever feel how i felt tis whole yr.. no one will ever understand hw hard it is... no one will... ever... & i have to pretend nothing had happen in front of my family... so tired...
xiuxiu; 10:12 PM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
joash became like my idol le.. coz i kept taking pics non-stop.. he is jus sooOoOoOoO cute can.. BUT his temper is real jia lat man.. jus like his parents...
i m krasy right! haha .... its kinda blurr actually... coz i m not allowed to use flashlight on him..
anyway.. u can view the video clip... my bro is always disturbing joash.. tink joash is afraid when my bro blew at him.. i said "its becoz u have bad breath!!" but my bro says its becoz he is afraid of wind.. jus like his mum.. haha.. see if u can hear the sound joash made...
xiuxiu; 9:32 PM
Friday, October 19, 2007
i have a new sling bag!!! COACH!!! but there is a story behind it.. if u r patient enuff... read it properly k.. coz its quite complicated.. hehe..
my brother bought a coach sling bag for my sil for their anniversary 2 weeks ago... he bought her a coach bag... initially.. he claimed that he had bought it at 50% discount.. which me n mum DO NOT BELIEVE.. haha.. mayb he is jus afraid we will.. #$@#%#$%^#$ him... but its a good thing ma.. coz tis show he loves his wife ma... anyway.. we didnt believe it la..
so one day.. me while shopping with linda.. popped into coach boutique & saw tat the price was actually... $3_ _ .. so pretty sure he hmm.. u knw la.. bt he still insisted woh...
then anyway.. linda is going states nxt mth.. & its actually MUCH cheaper over there.. so i oso tot since its much cheaper.. mayb i shld get one for myself... i nvr had such branded bags b4 ok! even though i spent a lot on clothes here n there.. bt i NVR had such bags...
& so i decided to surf online for the one i like & mayb get linda to buy it back for me.. so there was tis one day last week.. when we brought joash out for a hair cut... when my sil saw a woman carrying a coach sling bag.. different from what my bro had chosen for her... she liked it a lot... & i jus casually suggested.. "ehh.. then u sell me urs lo & i get linda to bring back the design u wan lo... "
at first she was afraid my bro will b sad... coz she liked another pattern.. bt as usual my brother dun bother one la.. he is quite ok with it.. so after some thoughts.. she decided ya she will do tat... & asked my bro to share with her & give it to me as my BD present!!! SOooOoo nice right... still 3 mths away lo.. haha...
so i jus came back frm mama's place... brought back the 'new' bag with me... haha... i got a new bag for nothing... BUT... after some tinking.. i realised if i dun pay my bro... he is going to have a BIG hole in his pocket.. he smsed me "take a knife! take a knife & kill me!!!" coz tis means... he is paying for mine... & the one linda is bringing back for my sil!!!!!!! that will b a total cost of $5_ _
haha.. on this.. i tink.. i better pay him la... & so i msged him.. i said.. i m NOT gonna pay for the amount u paid in sg.. haha.. i will pay what i see online.. & when linda comes back.. he is still gonna pay for the other one!! hiaks!!
i m not being bad k.. its very good liao.. at least i paid him... make him less heart pain... & so.. i have a new bag now!!!
xiuxiu; 8:51 PM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
i m dead! i m so so so dead!!! i dun knw whats got into me!!! i have been spending & i jus cant stop the 'tap' from flowing... argh!!! i already lost count on the number of clothes i bought... ever since i stayed at linda's house.. haha...
after spending erm... _ _ _ ... i bought another 2 dresses online last week! then bought a cardigan at taka on friday... bought a pair of shoes 2 days ago! & i bought another berms tat very same day! & i bought 2 polo Ts $24 at nie today..& i jus came home from AMK hub! & i bought another erm... dun knw call what la... argh argh argh... i really dun dare to count the total amt i spent man... argh.. i NEED TO STOP myself !!!! HELP!!! dun have money bt yet i kept signing & signing on bro's card... die le la...
& i m still aiming for 1 dress online lo!!! hoW!!!
anyway dinner jus now...
xiuxiu; 8:59 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2007
had a gathering with the girls 2 days ago... long time since we 4 meet up with each other.. had a nice, enjoyable, long talk with them... but it was also a 'fattening' meal for the night... went to the jap restaurant which wl's mum works in... got discount ma.. then the jap restaurant all fried food woh.. though its nice.. bt really fattening.. bt it had free flow of vege.. hehe.. xiang only came at 7+.. poor thing.. had to eat what was left by us.. cold le.. she didnt eat much bt gotta pay the same amount haha... anyway its ok la.. she is so so so much richer than us lo!!
anyway saw sun yan zi there... her usual hangout place... soooooo skinny lo.. hehe..
after tat.. went to coffeeclub to sit & chit chat lo... as usual.. coffee & cheesecake... *burps* hehe.. anyway.. spent almost the whole day with joash today.. sure missed him.. look at his thighs... he went for a haircut today.. so.. the 2 'holes' isnt tat obvious le.. hehe.. so handsome... :)
he can fully turn by himself le.. & today he really went a bit 'siao siao'.. haha... see for urself...
have been slacking for quite some time.. gotta buck up soon... few more stuff to go & i can relax le... cant wait... not feeling well.. as usual.. gonna rest le.. :)
xiuxiu; 10:15 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
To my dear friends: Something simple, nice and meaninful.. pls read.
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee...
A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full… They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes".
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite Passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked". It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.."
saw this b4 somewhere.. cannot remember where.. but didnt have strong feelings at the moment.. but certain feel something now after receiving the email from linda...
xiuxiu; 9:53 PM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
really disappointed.. how hard we have tried not to.. but seems to be coming true after all...
does being honest = lose the frenship?
mayb we might have been too harsh abt it.. but everything was jus what we saw & felt.. it couldnt b a 1 person's feelings... felt by the few of us actually... & the 出 发 点 was for the good of u... but.. mayb we were wrong to do so..
is love really blind? does love really make u forsake the frenships?
not tat we wanna tink too much.. bt we felt tat mayb we had been blocked.. a lot of things showed us that its not possible to b really disappearing from the world.. bt it seems so now...
it always seems tat i may have been the bad guy.. always telling the truth.. being honest.. but it always doesnt get me to anywhere.. mayb i shld start to tell lies instead?
dun knw what to say...
jus disappointed..
this really really really hasnt been a good yr for me thruout...
just dun wanna have anything to do with anything... i oso dun know what i m talking abt already... just that the 'sux' feeling is coming back to me again... :(
P.S. we could have kept quiet if tat is really what u wan us to do.. we can do tat.. if tats what u wan... we do not wan to risk the frenship coz of someone..
i dun knw what to say.. bt i really feel mentally stressed out already.. outsiders will not understand what i m undergoing.. they may jus see a different side of the story.. i dun knw hw to describe.. & i dun tink i will.. really dun knw what else to say.. jus feeling tat i might get a mental breakdown soon enuff...
pray for me alright... i need it...
jus wanna break away & escape to somewhere else where no one knows me... my heart is bleeding as i m typing... can u heal it for me? :'(